Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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