I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
