Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
