guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
