guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
