I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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