i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
