i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
