I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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