End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
