Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Randomize
