I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
