Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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