please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
