dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
