Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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