i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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