yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
