I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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