now i know why i became what i already was.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
