I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
