I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
