I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
