DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
