I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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