my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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