Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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