i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
only if we run a train.
done.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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