So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
