I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
