What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
