Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
