remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
