It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
