Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
