I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
me + whiskey = a bad person
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
