ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Betty ford says i'm here all night
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
