I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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