Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
