Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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