her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you would pick up someone in the library
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
