I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
