you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The adults are the big ones right?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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