you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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