she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
