Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
