I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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