He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
