Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were trust falling into bushes
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
