What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
