the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
